Conclusion Paragraph - Rocky and Walter Contrast

Here's the conclusion I came up with to that imaginary essay contrasting Rocky and Walter during 6th period last Friday:

Rocky and Walter are, in a way, two sides of the same coin. The currency of that coin, however, is not dollars or cents. It is courage and self respect, and when it comes down to it, Rocky is wealthier than Walter. When the chips are down, and their backs are against the wall, Rocky is the character who will be able to make a withdrawal from the First National Bank of Courage. Walter will instead receive an error message and a note that reads insufficient funds. This is the dilemma posed to audience members. How should individuals live their lives? Should people follow the shoulda/woulda/coulda mentality of Walter, or should they step in the ring and refuse to go down no matter how hard they get hit? The answer is obvious, if one is a true champion.

There are two components in this paragraph, and I've color-coded both of them.

red = review of essay topic
yellow = answer to the question "So what?"

Here are some further notes on this paragraph:

1. I've attempted to echo that idea of money from the introduction in my conclusion. Echoing your hook in the conclusion can create a sense of closure for your audience.
2. A few of you in class thought the phrase "First National Bank of Courage" is a little corny. I'm sure I disagree, but I think I like it. If I were to leave it in my final draft, I'd be taking what we in the writing business call a risk.
3. Yes, most teachers would mark the phrase "woulda/shoulda/coulda" incorrect. That's because it is incorrect. But again, I like it. I might just leave it. But as I said in class, if you litter your writing with this kind of informal lexicon, your audience might start wondering if you have the ability to not write informally. In this case, I think I might take the risk and leave it in my final draft.
4. The phrase "marked insufficient funds" is very similar to a phrase Martin Luther King used in his "I Have a Dream" speech. That's not why I chose to use the phrase, however. I was coming at it from a banking standpoint. Still, that word cluster teeters on the edge of plagiarism and literary allusion. In this case, I'd argue literary allusion, since I'm in no way worried if my readers see that connection. In fact, I think it would add to the impact of my message.

So what's the verdict? On a scale of one to ten, how effective is my conclusion? Also, do you find the "First Nation Bank of Courage" too corny, or does it work for you?