Gump'n It - "How to Echo Your Hook the Tom Hanks Way"

If you want some examples of how to echo your introductory hook in your conclusion, you have no further to look than Tom Hanks movies. First up, Forrest Gump. Remember how the movie starts? That feather floating around?



There it is. Just floating through the air for, like, a million years. Then, finally, it lands at Forrest's feet. He bends down, picks it up, and we learn he's sitting on a bench and waiting for the bus.

Anyone remember how the movie ends? That's right. It ends with Forrest sitting on a stump, waiting for a bus. And what's that down by his feet? Could it be?

Now, does the film actually have anything to do with that feather? Well, yes and no. I mean, is the movie about a man with mutant chicken powers who hides his feathers from the world in fear that they will judge, mock, and, ultimately, capture and dissect him in the name of science? Not exactly. Is the film about a small town chicken rancher trying to make it in the big city as a chicken robotics expert? Of course not. Thematically, however, the movie is all about the feather. Forrest, like the feather, is blown by the wind from place to place with no direction or free will of his own. Chance is piloting Forrest's ship, not fate - just like the feather. We call this symbolism. So yeah, the filmmakers chose an opening hook that connects with the body of the film thematically, just like you can choose a hook for your essay that connects thematically - via your link - to your essay's central topic.

Next up, Saving Private Ryan. At the beginning of the movie, an elderly vetran visits the graves of his fallen soldier brethren. We then flashback to the war:



Later, near the end of the film, as Ryan's flashback comes to a close, we flashforward, back to the present with Ryan still kneeling in Arlington Cemetary.



And that's how you know the movie is over. The end echos the beginning, and the audience has closure. It just wouldn't make any sense to suddenly cut back to the war one last time. In the writing business we call it "The End."

One last example. So, okay, Forrest Gump won the Academy Award for best picture (beating Pulp Fiction?), and Saving Private Ryan was nominated (losing to Shakespeare in Love?), but you know what film was robbed of awards and glory? Splash. That's the one where Tom Hanks falls in love with a mermaid. Oh yeah. I don't care how many award-winning films Hanks stars in. For me, he'll always be the guy falling in love with a fishlady. And how!

The movie starts with Hank's character as a kid on a boat, staring at the water. He then jumps overboard and, while everyone panics on deck, sees a mergirl. They, of course, fall in love.



And just try to guess how this thing ends...



So that's how you echo your hook in your conclusion. You think like a Tom Hanks movie.

Question time: What other films, short stories, books, etc. can you think of that utilize the echo technique and 'Gump it'? Please give an example and describe it in detail. (I would expecially like to hear any ideas you might have on Tom Hanks movies I failed to mention. If anyone can think of any, I'll probably post them, too.)

One Page Essay Criteria

Here is the handout for the "One Page Essay" criteria. Click on it for a larger image.

Approaching the Title - Rocky and Walter

One last thing I want to mention regarding our class last Friday is the title to my imaginary Rocky and Walter contrast essay. I came up with "Dream, with Change to Spare."

I came up with that during 6th period, and someone 8th - I forget who, sorry - asked how I came up with it so quick. Well, here's the answer. First, I didn't come up with it quick. It took three to four minutes. Second, I did it by brainstorming. I first started jotting down ideas that came to me about the film and the book. I don't remember the exact list, but it went something like this:

• Jesus and the banjo
• bacon and eggs
• eggs sunnyside up
• roadwork
• hard labor
• chain gang

As you can see, there's really no rhyme or reason here. I'm just writing down what comes to mind. Maybe there will be something there to set me off in a new direction. Note that I'm not actually trying to think of a title at this point. I'm merely trying to think of an idea that might turn into a title. It was also at this point that someone in class - again, I forget who, sorry - said something to the effect that all of these ideas were Luke centered. Walter wasn't really entering into it. Some folks liked Jesus and the Banjo, but it really had nothing to do with Walter. That's when it hit me. Maybe I should be focusing my title not on the texts I'd be discussing in my essay, but instead on my hook. Namely, money.

So I started a new list:

• cash
• cash and carry
• spare change
• withdrawl
• coins and bills
• George Washington
• dead presidents

You get the point. Somewhere along the line I went back to the one of the themes both the film and the novel shared - dreams. That, combined with one of the items on my list, gave me my title. "Dreams, with Change to Spare."

I'm not saying it's the world's greatest title, but I think we can all agree it beats the hell out of "Cool Hand Luke and Of Mice and Men Contrast Essay" or "George Vs. Luke" or "Contrast Essay" or "Dreams" or something like that. So titles can take a little while, but when they work, they can really get you off to a great start.

What are your thoughts? Is "Dreams, with Change to Spare" a good title? What do you like about it? What don't you like about it? And who can think of a better one?

5 Qualities of Good Writing

Ever wonder what makes good writing? Well, here's a pretty good list.

Brevity
“Brevity is the soul of wit.” – Shakespeare

Why take 100 words to say what can be said in 50? As a revision exercise, attempt to make your essay 2/3 as long without losing any of your ideas. Be concise. Re-word sentences to make them shorter, and combine sentences in an attempt not to repeat ideas.


Focus
“In almost all classes of composition, the unity of effect or impression is a point of the greatest importance.” – Poe

Aristotelian rhetoric contends that every document has at least one specific purpose that an author wishes to impress upon his or her audience. Before you draft your essay, ask yourself what your purpose is. And once you have completed your essay, ask yourself – as objectively as possible – if you have achieved that purpose. Beware the urge to


Selection of Detail
“A skilful literary artist has constructed a tale. If wise, he has not fashioned his thoughts to accommodate his incidents; but having conceived, with deliberate care, a certain unique or single effect to be wrought out, he then invents such incidents – he then combines such events as may best aid him in establishing this preconceived effect.” – Poe

Ask the following question when considering whether or not to include a detail in your composition: What will this detail do to/for my audience? Every detail included in a composition should in some way help you in some way take one more step towards fully realizing your rhetorical purpose. You may be using the detail to establish tone or mood, create pathos, complete a logical argument, etc., but it must do something.

And remember, adjectives such as “extremely” and “very” fail to add detail. After all, what is the difference between “bald “,” very bald,” and “extremely bald”?


Authenticity
Don’t “write an English paper.” Instead, craft an argument. Avoid the temptation to make your essays sound like you think an English teacher wants them to sound. That is not to say that your writing should become conversational or informal, but try to avoid using “big words” simply because you think you should use “big words.” Granted, diction can be a slippery slope – how do your pick words to sound like you are not trying to pick words – but that is in part what makes a good writer great.


Variation
Vary your sentence length and structure. Some should be short, some long. Some should be simple, some complex. And vary your paragraph length as well. Believe it or not, a one-word paragraph can be very effective at times.

Honestly.

Conclusion Paragraph - Rocky and Walter Contrast

Here's the conclusion I came up with to that imaginary essay contrasting Rocky and Walter during 6th period last Friday:

Rocky and Walter are, in a way, two sides of the same coin. The currency of that coin, however, is not dollars or cents. It is courage and self respect, and when it comes down to it, Rocky is wealthier than Walter. When the chips are down, and their backs are against the wall, Rocky is the character who will be able to make a withdrawal from the First National Bank of Courage. Walter will instead receive an error message and a note that reads insufficient funds. This is the dilemma posed to audience members. How should individuals live their lives? Should people follow the shoulda/woulda/coulda mentality of Walter, or should they step in the ring and refuse to go down no matter how hard they get hit? The answer is obvious, if one is a true champion.

There are two components in this paragraph, and I've color-coded both of them.

red = review of essay topic
yellow = answer to the question "So what?"

Here are some further notes on this paragraph:

1. I've attempted to echo that idea of money from the introduction in my conclusion. Echoing your hook in the conclusion can create a sense of closure for your audience.
2. A few of you in class thought the phrase "First National Bank of Courage" is a little corny. I'm sure I disagree, but I think I like it. If I were to leave it in my final draft, I'd be taking what we in the writing business call a risk.
3. Yes, most teachers would mark the phrase "woulda/shoulda/coulda" incorrect. That's because it is incorrect. But again, I like it. I might just leave it. But as I said in class, if you litter your writing with this kind of informal lexicon, your audience might start wondering if you have the ability to not write informally. In this case, I think I might take the risk and leave it in my final draft.
4. The phrase "marked insufficient funds" is very similar to a phrase Martin Luther King used in his "I Have a Dream" speech. That's not why I chose to use the phrase, however. I was coming at it from a banking standpoint. Still, that word cluster teeters on the edge of plagiarism and literary allusion. In this case, I'd argue literary allusion, since I'm in no way worried if my readers see that connection. In fact, I think it would add to the impact of my message.

So what's the verdict? On a scale of one to ten, how effective is my conclusion? Also, do you find the "First Nation Bank of Courage" too corny, or does it work for you?

Intro Paragraph - Rocky and Walter Contrast

 

During class on Friday we were playing around with a sample introductory paragraph for a pretend essay - a contrast of Rocky and Walter. Here's what we came up with during 6th period:

For years the United States Congress has been discussing the possibility of doing away with the penny. Why? The penny costs more to manufacture than it is worth, millions are lost and thrown away each year, and the entire problem could easily be solved by shop owners rounding to the nearest nickel. If it makes so much sense, then, why has the penny not been retired? The answer is strikingly simple. Tradition. People like that copper-looking coin with Honest Abe’s face on it. They like collecting them. They like having them around, even if they are not particularly necessary. In that way, Walter of Hasberry’s A Raisin in the Sun and Rocky of the Academy Award winning best picture are both a pair of pennies. They may not be the most valuable of companions, but they are both reliable. Their similarities end there, however. Although Rocky and Walter appear to be similar, they are, in fact, quite different. While Rocky continually questions his ability to succeed and refuses to give up, Walter questions why others do not think he can succeed and gives up consistently.

I color-coded the elements of the paragraph to more easily break it down.

• red = hook  (9 sentences)
• green = link  (3 sentences)
• yellow = thesis (1 sentence) 
• blue = bridge (1 sentence)

Here are a couple of notes I'd like to point out:

1. Yes, my hook took nine sentences. And my link took three. Guess what...writing takes words. Don't rush it.
2. Check out the last three sentences of my hook. They all start with "They like." That's called parallelism. There's a page here from the Online Writing Lab at Purdue University that does a nice job of explaining what I'm talking about. Again, that's parallelism. Learn it. Love it. Live it. Most good writers do.
3. This essay would contain two body points, according to the bridge. (Can you find them?)
4. I used at least one fragment - "Tradition." Any teacher could rightfully mark that sentence wrong; it is, after all, gramatically incorrect. I personally think it works, however. It's called taking a risk. (And after all, writing is just two things: (1) choices and (2) risks. More on that later.)
5. I'm not totally sure that stuff on the penny is 100% accurate. This was off the top of my head. I'd definately check it out (i.e. research) before I turned in a final copy. But you know what? At least it's interesting. And you know why? Because (1) it contains specific details and (2) most of you didn't know anything about it before you read it. I taught you something in my hook. If you can do that for me in your hooks, you're golden!

So there it is. Now I have a few questions for you. First, what specific aspects of Friday's activity did you find helpful and what aspects did you not, and is this type of activity (me writing from scratch on the screen while you watch) worth doing again in the future? Second, what do you think of my paragraph? Does it flow? Is it clear? Is it too corny? (Give it to me straight. I'm a big boy. I can take it. I grade you every day. This is your chance to grade me, so let me have it.)